It’s always difficult to determine what constitutes a toxic relationship and what doesn’t, but there are some warning signs that can help you spot one before it gets to the point of no return. If your partner does any of the following 10 things, there’s a good chance you’re in one of these types of toxic relationships and need to get out as soon as possible.
1. Your friends and family don’t approve
If your partner creates a lot of drama when you spend time with your friends and family, that’s a red flag. In healthy relationships, both parties make an effort to get along with each other’s friends and family. If you’re with someone who shows contempt for your loved ones, it may be time to reevaluate. The same goes for them: if they have a hard time getting along with yours, that relationship is toxic.
Plus, They don’t respect your boundaries: When we love someone, we want to give them everything. However, there are some things we need to keep for ourselves—even from our partners. When you feel like you can’t say no without feeling guilty or like your needs aren’t being met because of how much energy you put into pleasing others, then something isn’t right in your relationship.
2. They encourage an unhealthy lifestyle
Perhaps your partner makes you feel guilty for not exercising enough, or turns every meal into a judgmental calorie count. Perhaps they constantly belittle your efforts to be healthier, calling them unhealthy or obsessive. These behaviors are designed to break down your confidence and self-esteem and keep you from fully committing to your health. If you’re in a relationship with someone who does these things, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate whether their behavior is healthy for you. If it isn’t, it might be time to move on.
3. The person tries to make you feel bad about yourself
If your partner’s words and actions are consistently critical, insulting or demeaning, you may be in a toxic relationship. Your self-esteem is an important factor when it comes to choosing a partner; someone who tries to make you feel bad about yourself isn’t worth keeping around. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and support; toxic ones rely on criticism and disparagement. As soon as you notice that kind of pattern developing in your relationship, take action before things get worse. Even if it means breaking up with your partner – no matter how much you love them – remember that staying with someone just because they love you is not healthy for either of you.
4. They try to control your every move
This is perhaps one of the biggest signs that you’re in a toxic relationship. While some couples try to compromise, or make it work, when it comes to spending time with family and friends, in a toxic relationship your partner will do everything they can to control every aspect of your life. If they don’t have control over something, they get extremely insecure. They want to know where you are at all times, who you’re talking to, what you’re doing—basically anything that involves them not being involved. They want to be able to contact you at any given moment; if they can’t reach you right away, it causes an emotional reaction for them.
5. They are unsupportive
It’s one thing to disagree with your partner or offer an opinion that differs from theirs, but it’s quite another to tell them how they should live their life. If your partner isn’t there for you when you need a sympathetic ear, or is quick to judge instead of support you and take care of your needs, it might be time to reevaluate what kind of relationship you are in.
6. Emotional abuse is present
Whether it’s your partner berating you, or shaming you, or constantly belittling your beliefs and thoughts, emotional abuse can be a sign that a relationship is in danger. If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells because of how he/she treats you—be aware that it might be time to pack up and find someone who respects your boundaries. After all, no one deserves to be treated badly.
7. The relationship makes you lose touch with your friends or family
Many times when people are in toxic relationships, they end up losing touch with friends and family members. When your significant other becomes controlling or jealous, it’s important to maintain your independence by still spending time with friends and family. If you find yourself keeping things from your loved ones because of them, you need to reevaluate that relationship. It is always better to be alone than in a bad relationship. It is never too late to leave a bad situation.
8. When things go wrong, they blame you for it.
People who truly love you don’t blame you for things that go wrong in your relationship. They’ll work together with you to fix problems instead of placing blame on your shoulders. This is one of many warning signs that a person is toxic. No one can make anyone else feel bad about themselves, and if someone loves you, they wouldn’t try to lower your self-esteem to benefit themselves. If you find yourself constantly feeling down because of something your partner said or did, it might be time to reevaluate whether or not you two are compatible.
9. They lead by example with their own behavior.
People don’t always know how to treat us, but we can learn how to deal with them by watching what they do. If a person you’re in a relationship with makes cruel comments to you or others, get away from them as soon as possible. The first step in creating a positive environment is getting away from negative behavior altogether. It’s okay if it takes time for you to find your voice and boundaries—just be sure that when you leave a toxic relationship, you never look back.
10. Something doesn’t seem right…
There is always that gut feeling telling you something isn’t quite right.
Maybe you sense that something isn’t quite right in your relationship, but aren’t sure what. Maybe you do know what is going on, but don’t have a name for it yet. This isn’t always a sign of toxicity in itself, but it can be a warning sign. Sometimes we overlook our gut feeling because we don’t want to face how bad things are or that we are being abused by someone who claims to love us. If something doesn’t seem right about your relationship, trust yourself and get help from an outside source. Your intuition might save you from years of pain and suffering.