How to Tell A Guy You Like Him (Without sounding desperate)

Handsome man 3

Guys, especially shy ones, can be pretty oblivious when it comes to the opposite sex. If that’s the case of the guy you like, it’s up to you to let him know you like him! You don’t want to be that girl who doesn’t take the initiative to make things happen, do you? In particular, you wouldn’t want to have regrets for not being more assertive Here are 15 tips on how to tell a guy you like him without being too obvious

When should you tell a guy you like him?

I see two scenarios where you ought to make a move. First, it’s when the guy is shy. It’s simply not his type to go forward with a girl by himself. In this case, if a shy guy is no issue for you, you should go for him subtly. You really wouldn’t want to keep him as just a friend whereas you’d like more of him.

You can also think of a reverse scenario where the guy is more extrovert and adventurous, but, for a reason or another, you don’t want your interest to be broadcasted. In this case, after pushing away the guy a little in public, it’s a good idea to be more straightforward in private to confirm to the guy that you’re interested in him.

Keep in mind that it’s 100% ok to initiate the flirting with a guy! I understand that it’s not ideal, but sometimes there’s just no other way to make that relationship or dating happen.

1. Smile!

When he catches you looking at him, smile! It may seem cliché, but a warm and inviting smile can say I like you better than any spoken words. If he smiles back or waves at you, that’s a great sign he likes you as well! It is only a first step, but a first step in the right direction.

This technique is great because everyone understands a smile and, at the same time, it eliminates the problem of finding the right words to tell the guy how you feel. So, really don’t hesitate to smile! It cannot possibly do any harm. And, even if it turns out badly with that man, you’ll always be able to say that you were just being friendly.

2. Touch Your Hair / Face

It’s both a feminine gesture and a very indirect way to bring his attention on you. It avoids the issue of having to find a lot to say. I would highly recommend that as one of the first ways to make him more daring! On top of that, you can give him cute looks. If that doesn’t bring out his dating vibes, move on to a more direct step! 

3. Stand or sit close to him

Whether it’s standing or sitting, you should find ways to be close to him. Not just because it’ll make your heart beat faster, but because that way he will notice you more and it will be easier for the two of you to talk together.

And, don’t say I’m weird, it might as well be the opportunity to catch each other’s scents. In particular, if you notice he has perfume, tell him! You can ask him whether he’s just used to put fragrance, or if he just puts some for major life events. If he admits he only puts some on special occasions, bingo coz it means he gives special importance to your meetup!

4. Give Him Your Best Eye Contact

Eye contact is an essential component of communication. When talking with you crush, give him your undivided attention. While you shouldn’t overdo it, Maintaining eye contact while focusing on being fully present is a good idea. Not only will you be showing that you are interested in spending time with him and dating him, but you’ll also feel more connected to him as well.

If it’s not natural for you to give a man an intense look, feel free to ask your women friends how they do it! When it comes to the eyes, and non-verbal communication in general, slight differences can have a huge difference in meaning. And, even though your crush is unlikely to make the difference consciously, he will unconsciously! Naturally, you can also help your glance stand out with the appropriate makeup. No matter the exact style you’re looking for, there are plenty of Youtube tutorials on the subject, this one for example

5. Talk to his friends

An efficient way to get a date with a shy guy is to ask his buddies to be intermediaries. More likely than not, they will be ok helping you in your relationship pursuit. And you should be comfortable telling them how you actually feel about their friend. They’ll basically act as a filter. However, be sure to be nice with them as they don’t have to help you arrange a date with your crush.

6. Be sweet over text

It should be easier to tell the man you like how you feel over text. Unless he’s a complete asshole, no one will be able to judge you. You can have a casual conversation about random things, such as movies, music, sports, common acquaintances, celebrities, etc. Anything that matches both your interests!

You can tell him what you like him, whether it’s a specific facial feature (“you have such a jawline” “your eyes are just” or a talent of his (“will you play the guitar for me?” “will you show me your skateboard skills?”). It’s an indirect way to tell him your feelings.

7. Have Your Best Style

First of all, make sure you look great whenever you’re around him. If he notices how beautiful you are each time he sees you, he may start looking for reasons why that is—which will eventually lead back to your attraction for him. For example, if you are classmates or workmates and are having dinner together once in a while, you can overdress a little. 

You should take care of yourself by eating well. This cannot possibly have a negative impact on his manly interests. 

8. Take Pictures With Him

The easiest way to become good friends with a guy is by becoming good friends with his buddies. If you have a picture together, it can help break down your stranger status and give him an excuse to text you. Of course, if you really like him, don’t let that be your reason for asking for a picture; simply use it as an easy excuse. Just say something like Hey, I had fun last night! Can I send you a pic from last night? That gives him an out if he wants one—and makes it clear that you just want to hang out again.

9. Suggest hanging out in a casual way

Simply, ask him if he wants to do something sometime. Make sure it’s a group hang out with his friends and not just you two. You can tell him that it doesn’t have to be anything special. If that man is clever, he’ll understand that highlighting it doesn’t have to be special means the opposite 🙂

Instead of asking him directly to go on a date with you, you should suggest hanging out with a group of friends one night during free time and see what happens. If he accepts, well it’s a little soon to move to conclusions, but you can hope he’ll finally get the clue and try something with you.

10. Share Your Food With Him

If you get the opportunity to have lunch or dinner with him, whether only him or socially, you can offer him to take a bite of your dish. If he accepts, and hopefully reciprocates, it will be a somehow sensual moment and a good first step towards a relationship. You can expect him to tell you how he feels about you after that. If he declines, either he’s simply full or he’s particularly shy. In this case, you should consider moving to more extreme techniques described below. But, be prepared to handle rejection.

11. Compliment Him

Guys love it when you take notice of what they like, so give him compliments and show interest in his hobbies. By doing things like asking him questions about his personal interests, or making comments on pictures of his friends, you can subtly let him know that you are interested in knowing more about him as a person, rather than just as a physical specimen. It’s important not to overdo it with these kinds of compliments though; if he feels like you’re trying too hard, he might feel uncomfortable and shy away from conversation. Remember: subtlety is key!

12. Ask him for feedback on your looks

I understand this one might sound a little bold! But, it’s a nice invitation so that he makes a compliment, and possibly highlight a detail in your style which he thinks could be improved. That doesn’t mean spend hours every day getting ready or try to be someone else  – keep making sure that you wear what makes you feel most like yourself. For whatever purposes, including dating, you should never try to become someone else!

13. Make thoughtful gestures

Guys like signs of attention. Try to suggest him an activity you know he’ll like. For example, you could ask him which movies he likes. Then, you can subtly suggest him that a good movie is just out at the cinema.

14. Show your value

Display your skills and assets! If you know how to play the piano, seize the first opportunity to show him. If you know how to surf or skate, you could suggest to train him. Be aware that he might refuse out of ego though. Needless to say that wearing clothes and makeup that advantage you can help. I especially recommend a subtle cleavage as it’s always going to be a hit.

15. Be direct

If that’s your type, you can simply tell him that you’re interested in him! However, make sure that he won’t understand it badly. Some guys could see that as a turn off. So I still advise you to be subtle and indirect. But, if the guy seems not to understand a more subtle approach and that doesn’t turn you off, then, hey, go for it!


So, if you have feelings for someone, don’t play games with your emotions or his; let him know how you feel! This can be scary, but remember that if he likes you back then it was worth taking a risk. And if he doesn’t like you back? Well then at least now both of you know where things stand. And you should also take comfort in knowing that there are plenty of other men who would love to meet you, some of them more interesting than your initial target!

My general recommendation is not to be too obvious. For guys, it’s usually natural to be obvious when they like a girl. They’ll compliment you, or they’ll pay more attention to you than anyone else in a room. Sometimes that approach works, but if you like him and don’t want it broadcast all over campus, it’s important that you not give away your secret. Here are some ways to flirt with him without letting everyone know you have an interest in him.

And never forget: It may not be easy to talk about feelings, but it is worth it!